Ms. Todt: The Evil Psychiatrist Lady Part I
by Tokoieye and Etarns
Summary: Our favorite (not) reporter, Rita Skeeter, writes the Evil Psychiatrist Lady a.k.a. Ms. Todt a letter about everyone's problems. This part is just the letter and meeting Ms. Todt. Next part is Lockhart's visit. Have a nice day! R/R


A.N.: This is a bit more...erm...normal than our first fic. Have a nice day! 

Disclaimer: J.K. owns the HP characters, their personalities, etc. We own the evil psychiatrist lady. The DSM-IV peoples own the disorders. Have a nice day! 

The evil psychiatrist lady opened her mailbox and saw a letter from her favorite friend: Rita Skeeter. She opened it happily because she knew it meant more people to diagnose. "This will be **fun**!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" she yelled. Her office was insulated so that nobody would hear her. Then she read the letter: 

_Dear Ms. Todt, _

I have some new patients that require your urgent attention. The first is a Mr. Gilderoy Lockhart, a man who recently recovered his memory after loosing it from a memory charm. He has a big huge ego, always wants to be admired, doesn't care about other people or how they feel, and can't deal with being rejected. (He got extremely angry at me when I rejected him in an article in the Daily Prophet_. Honestly, I was only bringing to light a new perspective! Actually, I quite liked the man. Very charismatic!) _

Hermione Granger is far too perfectionistic for her own good. Honestly, signing up for all the classes at age 13! What nonsense! And she's so busy with rules, regulations, lists, schedules, and the like. She was so cruel to me, just because I wasn't as so preoccupied with those things as her! She's so inflexible, too. She puts work above leisure time; normal people like me would NEVER do that. She's a control freak, too; she always wants everything done **her** way, and in **her** control! Percy Weasley's like this, too, as well as that he is stingy with his time, and he has absolutely no relationships. Plus, he can't express any real feelings. 

Then there's Peter Pettigrew! What a poor, deranged man! He's constantly distressed if he's not around the most important person, and always is afraid that these big people he hangs around will lose or be harmed. He's afraid of losing these big powerful people, and is reluctant to leave them! Right now, Voldie is that big person. This has been going on for years and years and years and years and you get the point! 

Poor Draco, he keeps defying what's right and what's the general law. "Well that's pretty normal," thinks the evil psychiatrist lady._He keeps on annoying people on purpose, and is angry a lot, and also spiteful and vindictive very often. Poor boy, he means well, and he really has a good perspective, especially on important subjects, such as Hogwarts. _

Argus Filch has a more physical problem, but I think you can deal with it. The guy has creeping sensations in his legs, and keeps having these irresistible urges to walk, especially at night, when he prowls the school corridors. That must be because of these feelings in his legs! They seem to get worse when he's under stress, like when someone's breaking the rules! I think that some mean person might have put a spell on him so that he gets stressed out whenever there's trouble. 

There's a girl at Beauxbatons whom I'm very worried about named Fleur. She's so thin, yet so afraid of becoming fat, and she diets far too much. She never gains any weight, even though she should, and she's so preoccupied with food and counting calories! Although I must say she looks quite beautiful because of her extensive dieting! 

The Potions teacher at Hogwarts, Severus Snape, is always suspicious, and is constantly thinking that someone's going to hurt or trick him, especially the two Weasley twins, for some strange_reason that I could never understand. He always is blaming others, and he can be very secretive at times. I've had so much trouble getting information about him for my exclusive articles, and, you know, that's really saying something. He has so little humor, too, and is easily offended, especially with the Gryffindor students! _"Well, I can see why they would offend him. Those brats!" thought the evil psychiatrist lady a.k.a. Ms. Todt_He shows very few emotions, and seems cold. _

Voldemort, poor guy, who really really really means well, especially for Harry and his friends, just doesn't show a lot of concern about societies rules, laws, and expectations! He keeps on violating other people's rights and breaking laws! He can be very irritable, and has been this way for a very very very very very very very very long time. He doesn't care a lot for the truth, and shows very little remorse for what he does. Mr. and Mrs. Dursley are like this too, plus they abuse their nephew, Harry. "I can see why they would," thought the evil psychiatrist lady.

But I'm most concerned over poor ickle Harry-kins! "I don't see why you care about him," the Ms. Todt thought. _He has so many problems! He keeps reexperiencing his parents' death in the form of hallucinations and recollections, especially when the dementors are around! He also has said he has disturbing and distressing dreams about it! He avoids his thoughts and feelings about it, and a lot of the time he doesn't trust people with secrets, especially not me! His secret would be safe with me...that is, before I put it in the press. But really, he would have nothing to worry about if he told me!!! Then, sometimes he can't concentrate -- he says that his scar hurts too much. Sometimes he feels angry about his parents' death. _

I hope that you can deal with all these people's problems. They really need your help, Ms. Todt. 

Sincerely, Rita Skeeter Daily Prophet Reporterette Chic

Happy about all the new people to torture and all the new people to get lots of MONEY from, Mrs. Todt smiled and yelled (remember, her office has lots of acoustic panels so that people won't hear her) "Yipee!!!". She did like Rita Skeeter. 

A.N.: We are going to continue it. In the next part, Ms. Todt visits Lockhart!!! BTW, for you people who don't know, Todt means death in German. Ja! Frau Todt ist sehr schlecht! Sorry, I (Etha) just had to say that! It means, "Yes! Ms. Todt is very bad!" Anyhow, please read/review so that we'll be inspired to write the next part soon!!! Have a nice day!


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